Ughh
by Pteromyini
Summary: Naruto, a junior prosecutor, hopes to one day become the Prosecuting Attorney of Konoha! However, is this dream still possible, when a dangerous red-head, who seems to instantly hate the blonde, becomes his new boss? Will Naruto be able to change the man's mind and reach his dream? Eventual NaruGaa, AU, M for language and possible later chapters ;D
1. Ughh… why do I do this to myself?

**I've updated the chapter to fix grammar errors and parts I didn't like after reading it later. I hope this is better. **

**This is my first story, so please comment and tell me what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. :(**

**Warnings: Language**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Ughh<strong>

"Ughh… why do I keep doing this to myself?" the man groans. Lying face-down in his bed, he can't help but wonder how his life has come to this. A splitting headache and no memories of the night before. This is what… the second time this week? And it was only Tuesday. No, wait. Wednesday.

Slowly pushing himself up, he glances over to the clock by his bed. _8:23… Fuck… _Lifting himself further, he suddenly stops. Paranoia sweeping over him. Two nights ago, he had awoken to a crazy British woman clipping her toenails next to him. Nude. And then she refused to leave before he made her tea. It was creepy. He still feels a bit traumatized.

Remembering the incident, he braces himself as he glances over his shoulder and then around the cramped space. He pauses and listens for any noises other than his own breathing.

Satisfied with the silence, he collapses back on to the bed with a groan. "Oh, thank god! I'm alone." He tenses again, waiting for any kind of answer. Relieved once again when no response comes, he gingerly lifts himself off the bed. The man stumbles around the wooden folding partition separating his lumpy, queen-sized bed from the rest of the room. He feels his body steadily lean to the right, without his permission, as he staggers across the carpeted floor, heading for the bathroom next to the front door. Cursing, he slams into the wall next to the bathroom door; it seems the alcohol is still affecting his balance.

Grumbling about stupid walls moving, he enters his bathroom and grabs two painkillers out of the medicine cabinet. Popping them into his mouth, he quickly washes them down with water from the tap. He gulps down a few more handfuls of water before closing his eyes and bracing himself. _It's now or never._ He hesitantly looks up into the mirror.

He has to admit… he looks like shit. In fact, beyond shit. More like elephant-trampling baboon-throwing shit.

His blonde hair must be trying to lease itself out to some winged-tenants. Sticking out in odd angles, with what looks like leaves and twigs tangled in several places. The blonde squints his eyes for a second, waiting; he half expects a bird to pop its head out to tell him to fuck off. Scanning his eyes, he sees the ever-present dark rings under his bloodshot blue eyes have crept further down his cheeks overnight.

And his cheeks…

He grimaces. Unconsciously, he lifts his hand to survey the damage. The man winces as he presses slightly with his fingertips. His left cheek, twice its normal size, has a nasty reddish-purple and incredibly tender fist-shaped bruise decorating it. His bottom lip is also spilt on the opposite side, with dried blood still caking around the wound. He groans, as he thinks of the look on his boss' face; Yamato was going to kill him! Perusing the damage again, he tries for what feels like the umpteenth time to remember how he got this way.

Alcohol… that's how.

He remembers Shikamaru being there at the beginning of the night. They had met at their favorite pub after work. Naruto had begged for his friend's company, not wanting to return to his newly-emptied apartment. His girlfriend… No, _ex-_girlfriend having moved all her stuff out over the weekend. _Bitch._

He remembers the first four or five beers after his Shepard's Pie. Shika tried to slow him down at one point. _I guess I didn't listen… _And then the next few shots. After that…. Nothing. Well, close to nothing anyway. There were weird snippets of flashing lights and loud music. And maybe a red-head? At one point, there must have been a fight… probably with a tree, judging from his hair.

He stares at his reflection for a few seconds longer before sighing. He turns to leave the bathroom, when something else catches his eye. He does a double-take before swiftly leaning in towards the mirror and tugging the collar of his black shirt down lower. A splotchy red welt takes up a large part of the right side of his neck. _Oh, God… _

Yup, it was a hickey.

The blonde stares solemnly at his reflection. _I am so dead. _The man shivered as he tried his best _not_ to imagine the look his boss will wear when he see the state of his junior prosecutor. While contemplating the best way to commit suicide, he hears his phone chime in the bedroom. Giving himself one last self-pitying look, he make his way back to his bed and starts shifting threw the covers. Triumphant at last, (_take that blanket!)_, he unlocks his phone. He winces when he sees four texts and five missed calls from his closest friend.

Shika (8:07 am): Naruto, I know you're hung over, but get your ass out of bed, take a shower, and get to work.

Shika (8:17 am): Yamato just came around looking for you. I told him you have explosive diarrhea. He left pretty quickly. You're welcome.

Shika (8:24 am): Please don't tell me you're still sleeping.

Shika (8:31 am): I really don't want to have to come over there. It would be so… well, you know.

_Troublesome. I know. _Naruto felt a reluctant smile reach his lips. The excuse would make for awkward conversation, but at least his boss wouldn't question too much. That was Shikamaru for you; the man always had Naruto's back.

They had meet in law school on a group project together, where Shikamaru was assigned the group leader. Naruto, jealous of Shika's leadership role, fought with him for power the whole time. Yeah… he had been kind of a dick. After they received the highest grade in the class, Naruto decided Shikamaru wasn't half bad, and they quickly became friends. The man was a genius. Fucking lazy, but a genius never the less. After law school and a year at a small firm, they were both able to land jobs with Konoha's Prosecuting Attorney's office as Junior Prosecutors running misdemeanor cases. The pay sucked and the cases sucked and workload sucked. But Naruto loved it.

He quickly types a response.

Naruto: I'm up! I'm up! Thanks for covering! Be there in 15.

An immediate reply.

Shika: Hope you didn't forget, but the new senior prosecutor is coming in today. Yamato is in one of his moods, and looking for blood. Hurry.

"Shit!" He had heard a lot about the new prosecutor around the office in the week since the man had been hired. According to rumors, the man was an absolute beast, ruthless and cunning. Maybe even a little psychotic. He always got his conviction, mainly because the judge and jury were too afraid to question him. The man sounded utterly terrifying. And he was Naruto's boss's new boss.

Naruto quickly showers and gets dressed into a charcoal suit, a light blue button-up shirt, and an orange tie. He steps into his dress shoes and grabs his phone, keys, and briefcase, before heading out the door. The blonde locks his apartment door behind him and heads down the stairs to the street below. Although he works only six blocks from his apartment, and usually walks to the office, he hails a cab, hoping to get there sooner. Naruto quickly notices the cabbie shooting him weird glances from the rearview mirror. It makes him uncomfortable, so he looks out the window for the remainder of the ride.

Arriving at his destination, he pays the weirdo and dashes towards front entrance of the prosecutor's office. The tan building is plain and banal, with small windows lining the exterior of the seven-story, brick building. He passes a few people on his way up the concrete steps. They each wear a similar expression as the cab driver Sort of shocked, incredulous, and amused all at the same time. _What the hell is their problem?_

Entering the glass doors, Naruto hurriedly walks past the reception desk to the stairwell door. As he opens the door, he hears the receptionist squeal rather excitedly, "Did you see that?" Slightly curious, the blonde wants to go back and see what she's talking about, but he needs to beat Yamato to his cubicle. Shikamaru can only make excuses for him for so long.

Sprinting up the stairs two at a time, he rapidly makes it to the fifth floor. He pauses to catch his breath before opening the stairwell door and entering the hallway. As he passes an intern in the hall, she drops her stack of files and covers her gaping mouth. It's that same look. _Really, what the fuck?_ He raises his eyebrows at her as he walks passed her down the hallway. He turns the corner into the large, open room filled with cubicles. One wall is taking up with small windows that show the darkening sky outside. _Well, the news did say it would rain today. _The opposite wall had offices for some of the higher up supervising prosecutors, Yamato's included. The middle of the room is filled with a maze of gray, carpeted cubicle walls. Naruto keeps his head down, as he hurries to his desk.

He quickly sits down and turns on his computer. The machine is finally chiming that it's awake, when he hears someone lean against his cubical wall. He looks up to see his friend. The man's dark hair is tried up in his trademark ponytail, and he has on a nice black business suit with a white shirt and a green tie. Shikamaru's face seems to be frozen for a second, before his eye brows twitch. Without warning, he tilts his head back and roars with laughter.

"What? What's so funny?," Naruto demands, indignant. Like most people, he isn't used to being laughed at to his face. Yeah, maybe sometimes he expects it, when he does something noticeably stupid or clumsy. But, right now, he is simply sitting at his desk, turning on his computer. _Nope, nothing weird here. Except for that weird cab driver. And those weird people on the steps. And whatever weird thing the receptionist saw. And that weird intern… Wait… There must be some sort of connection here…_

Shikamaru calmed down long enough to blurt out, "Your face!"

"Is that supposed to be like some sort of 'your mama' joke?," Naruto grumbles, not amused in the slightest.

"No," Shikamaru chuckles. "I really mean your face."

"What the hell's so funny about my face?" Naruto glares the strongest death glare he could muster.

"Naruto," Shikamaru smirks, "you look like a… " A few more chuckles escape. "And…" More chuckles. "Is that a hickey on your neck?" Shikamaru eyes are disbelieving, and the man couldn't stop the laughter that escaped from his chest. He tries to cover his mouth with his hand to spare his friend anymore embarrassment, but he body still convulses and air continues to sprit from his lips.

"…"

Shikamaru once again regained control of himself. "Eh… Naruto?"

"…"

"Are you ok?"

"…"?

"Is your face stuck?"

Naruto is vaguely aware of the blank expression on his face, but his brain seems to have shut down. In his haste to make it work before Yamato went looking for him again, he has completely forgotten about his bruised face and hickey-ed neck. His brain finally reboots, but the only words flying through his mind are: _What the FUCK am I going to do?_

Since those words seemed fitting enough for the occasion, Naruto grabs Shikamaru's lapel and pulls him forward and practically yells, "What the FUCK am I going to do?" His eyes are wide and pleading, tears sparkling at the corners, pleading for some quick solution from his genius of a friend.

Shikamaru can't help but laugh some more at his friend's expression. "I honestly have no idea."

"What do you mean you have no idea?" He shoot an accusing finger at his friend. "This is practically your fault! You were the one, who dragged me out last night."

"Naruto, you are the one who dragged me out. And I only went because you seemed to be so depressed about being dumped by what's-her-face last week," he replied in his dry voice.

"Tenten." Naruto corrected, as he glares up at Shika.

"Right, Tenten." Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "I still don't understand what you're so upset about. She always seemed kind of weird and weapon fixated to me."

Naruto's face turns wistful and sad. He sighs, and props his chin up on his left hand. "But she was pretty, and smart, and had a great bo-dy," he whines, over-enunciating the last word.

"You two had nothing in common, and you know it," He countered in a stern voice. "Plus, she's now with that stuck up asshole, Neji, from Hyuuga & Associates. That's three strikes against her."

"Hrmm…" Naruto growls and glares at his friend. "Don't remind me. And what're the other two strikes?"

"The having nothing in common part and the creepy weapon thing. Honestly, it's like she thinks she's a Ninja or something."

"Yeah… That was a little weird…" Naruto replies, thoughtfully. "Anyway, I don't want to talk about her anymore. I've decided, I'm moving on!"

"Obviously." Shikamaru cranes his neck to get another good look at that hickey.

Naruto glares and covers it up with his palm. "Sooooooo…" Naruto pauses for a moment, before his expression turns sheepish. He gives Shikamaru a sideways glance. "What exactly did happen last night?"

Shikamaru doesn't try to hide his amusement. "Man, you really were gone last night." The brunet is apparently enjoying the situation.

"Just tell me, Shika!"

"Well, you g-"

"Naruto, I see you've returned from the restroom." The two men visibly jump as Yamato miraculously appears next to Shikamaru. Really, how did the older man move so silently? Yamato's black eyes instantly widen as he takes in Naruto's appearance. _Here we go…_"What exactly happened to your face, Naruto? Do you realize the new senior prosecutor is starting work today? What the hell is he going to think about our department if one of our attorneys look like he got in a drunken bar fight last night!" Yamato is practically spiting with rage.

_Well.. He probably wouldn't be too far from the truth._

"Do you value your career at all, Uzumaki?" the man continues.

Shikamaru cleared his throat. "Naruto was mugged last night, Sir."

_HUH?! I was mugged? I thought for sure it was the drunken bar fight thing! What about the visions of flashing lights and red-heads?!_

"Is that true, Naruto?" Yamato turns his head towards the blonde and gave him a stern look. He squints his black eyes and leaned closer to Naruto trying to detect a lie. _Well, if Shika says it, it must be true so…_

"Yes, it was terrible! They had guns and stole a bunch of my stuff!" He keeps his eyes as wide as he can, and stares, unblinking, straight into Yamato's piercing gaze. _That'll show him I'm not lying!_ Well, it doesn't seem to help. Naruto's eyes begin to water and Yamato's expression becomes even more suspicious. The man's black eyes dart back and forth taking in all of Naruto face. Naruto tries to fight the urge to look away, his eyes stinging. _Ohh, shit! I can't take this much longer._

Shikamaru clears his throat, again, "Naruto and I went to the gym last night,"

_We did?_

"and Naruto left the building before me."

_I did?_

"When I came out, three large men were surrounding Naruto,"

_They did?_

"and one had a gun out."

_Oh, God! __He did?!_

"I called out for them to stop."

_You did?_

"Once they saw me, they punched Naruto in the face, and made off with his gym bag."

_Huh… I don't remember that at all. Maybe I was too traumatized. I guess I've heard of that happening_.

"Hmm…" Yamato still looks a little suspicious, "I guess I'll buy that for now, since that story is good enough to tell the new prosecutor. I'll make the excuses about your face when he arrives. He should be here after lunch, so make sure your-" Yamato's eyes widen again, and he face turns red. "IS THAT A HICKEY?"

"Eh… hehehe," is the only reply Naruto is capable of.

"Yamato, I'll clean him up before the boss gets here," Shikamaru says, as reassuringly as possible.

Yamato makes a sound low in his throat, which seems suspiciously like a growl. "You better, Shikamaru." He then turns on his heels and marches towards his office.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<strong>


	2. Shit

**So, I know it's been a ridiculously long time between updates. In my defense, I moved twice in the last year (once across the country) and my computer died and took all my files with it. So, I pretty much had to start over on this story. :( I promise updates will be much closer together from now on!**

**Warning: Language, career-destroying hickeys**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. :(**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Shit<strong>

"Shit, shit, shit!" Naruto flies through the elevator doors, as soon as they open. "We're gonna be late!"

"We already are late, Naruto." Shikamaru checks his watch, as he leisurely follows the blonde off the elevator.

"Hurry up, lazy-ass!" Naruto yells over his shoulder. Not looking, he runs head-long into someone, knocking them down. "Ah, Sorry! I'm running late!" Naruto clutches his head and continues running. He knows he's being rude, but he hopes the person understands. He has already arrived to work looking like shit and he spent his precious lunch letting Shika give him a 'make-over' to cover up the bruises and embarrassing hickey. Now, he is running late to the introduction meeting of his boss's boss! Not a great start to the day.

Naruto runs down the carpeted hallway and skids to a halt next to the conference room. Hesitantly, he peaks through the rectangular window in the metal door. "We are so fucked," he groans.

The meeting has already started.

"Shika, wha-" Naruto glances over his shoulder and is surprised to see he is talking to himself. He huffs and grudgingly makes his way back down the hall to the elevator lobby. There is Shikamaru, bowing to the man still sprawled on the ground, before helping him up. The blonde sighs. _Always the good guy, Shikamaru_.

He sticks one hand in his pocket, as the other nervously rubs through the tangle of blonde spikes at back of his head. He sheepishly makes his way over to the pair. "Heh… Sorry, for knocking you down." Naruto barely glances at the man, before he catches Shika's brown eyes and nods his head in the direction of the conference room, in hopes that his friend would get the hint. "Shikamaru..." practically whining the man's name. Naruto can't afford any more mistakes today. The sooner they get to the meeting the better.

"Naruto." Shikamaru gives him a pointed stare, before tilting his head towards the other man.

Naruto tries not to roll his eyes. _I get it. I get it. Apologize properly_. Naruto looks at the guy he knocked down and gives him a curt bow. "I'm very sorry, Sir, for knocking you down." Naruto tries to keep the impatience out of his voice. _We really don't have time for this, Shika!_ Feeling he has done a sufficient job apologizing, Naruto reaches out and grabs his friend's arm, giving him a firm tug.

The brown-haired man intractably holds his ground. _"Na-ru-to."_ This time meticulously enunciated every syllable and again motions to the man next to them.

"_Shi-ka."_ Naruto mimics his pointed expression and serious tone. "We're late. Let's go," he whispers, exasperation now pulling at his eyebrows. _What the hell is his problem?_

The brunette slaps his palm to his face, as he lets out an agonized sigh. "You've got to be kidding me," he murmurs. Shikamaru moves his hand to the back of his head as he looks over at the man next to them. "Please excuse him. I swear he isn't always this slow."

Naruto feels his mouth twist, as his eyebrows pinch together. "What's that supposed to mean, Shika?!"

Shikamaru looks back over to his indignant friend. "Naruto," he whispers in an exasperated tone. "_This _is Sabaku Gaara." He motions to the other man again.

"Uhh…" Naruto blinks a few times. _Why does that name sound familiar? _He looks over at the newly introduced man._ "_Hi?" the blonde says uncertainly. He gives the man a hasty once over and notices he is about their age, with pale skin and shocking, red hair. Somewhat unimpressed, Naruto scratches the back of his head and gives his friend a weird look.

"_Really, Naruto?"_ His friend's brown eyes rise to the ceiling, as he lets another tortured sigh escape his chest.

Naruto, feeling even more confused and slightly insulted, indignantly glares at his pony-tailed friend for a moment, before shifting his eyes to the red head once more. _What the hell am I missing?_ "Nice… to meet you?" he mumbles to the stranger, hoping to sound friendly despite his confusion. _I really don't understand what the big deal is… _

The man did appeared to be wearing a disgustingly expensive, pinstriped charcoal suit with and silk, burgundy tie. _He must have money._ His choice of hair color was odd, because there was no way that crimson color was natural. And the man's light teal eyes were lined with… _eyeliner?!_ _Not something you see every day. _ Naruto eyes travel up tot eh man's forehead, where he spots a red kanji tattoo. It means love. Naruto feels his eyes twitch. _Weird._

He meets the red-head's eyes and Naruto's eyes widen in shock. There is barely concealed malice in the stranger's eyes. Directed at him. _What the hell?!_

"He's the senior prosecutor, Naruto."

"What? You're kidding!" Naruto lets out a gruff laugh. "This guy? He's our age… and has a tattoo and eye liner!"

"_Oh, god, Naruto._ Please. Just stop." Shikamaru covers his face again, as Naruto hears footsteps coming their way.

"Sabaku-san, I've see you've met two of our young junior prosecutors already." Naruto turns to see Yamato walking towards the group. _What?_

"That I have." The stranger spoke in a low, gravelly voice. Naruto can't help notice, the man sounds aggravated. Very aggravated. _Shit._

"Well, shall we go in?" Yamato inquires. Sabaku give a brief nod, eyes briefly flicking back to Naruto.

Naruto watches in abject horror as the red-head followed Yamato down the hallway. "You've got to be shitting me?" he murmurs. A strange sinking feeling overcomes his body and his mouth turns dry, as he watches Sabaku Gaara, his boss's boss, the man he just knocked down and offended, walk away.

"I'm afraid not." Shikamaru seems to be fighting smile. "I think you just single-handedly fucked your career."

* * *

><p>"Still sulking, I see."<p>

Naruto looks over his shoulder to see his friend smirking down at him, as he leans against Naruto's cubicle walls. Naruto just pouts and places his head back into his folded arms.

"The meeting went as expected. I still think you should have gone. Avoiding him will only make matters worse."

"Worse? _Worse?! How can it possibly get any worse?!"_ Naruto frustrated voice is muffled by his arms._ "I called him 'This guy'. Can you believe it? This Guy! And I made fun of his eyeliner! I'm dead!" _

Shikamaru lets out a chuckle. "Yeah, that was pretty bad. It's like you were going out of your way to insult him."

Naruto lifts his head and shoots a betrayed look at his friend. "Why the hell were you being so vague? You should have come out and said his was our boss in the first place! Not given me weird shifty-eyed looks."

"Seriously, Naruto. How could you not have recognized his face? It's very memorable. Or, at least, his name? We've been hearing about him for months now."

"I don't know! I just didn't!" Whining, he hides his face back in his arms. "The look he gave me… like I was some disgusting bug. He totally hates me." Naruto feels his friend's hand on his shoulder.

"Come on. You'll be fine. Just go apologize."

Naruto turns his head and fires a disgruntled look at his friend. He opens his mouth to say something when Yamato suddenly pops his head in. He gives the blonde a grave look. "Naruto," the brown-haired man pauses for a moment, and then his expression shifts. Dark shadows overtake his face, as his eyes widen. A chill travels down Naruto's back. "Sabaku-san wants to see you."

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><p>Naruto heart pounds against his chest, as he stares at the seething face across a polished oak desk. <em>He looks like he wants to rip my throat out. <em>Those terrifying teal eyes leave the blonde's eyes to glance at a closed manila folder neatly placed beneath his elegant hands. The sharp eyes snap back to Naruto's as the pale hands slowly open the folder. _This can't be good._

"So…" The red haired man briefly glances at the papers inside the folder. "Uzumaki Naruto, is it?" His voice is low and smooth; it speaks of absolute authority.

The blonde gulps. "Y-yes." He grimaces slightly at his stuttering. The pounding of his heart fills his ears, and he tries, somewhat unsuccessfully, to slow his breathing. The teal eyes hold his blue ones for a moment; it's unnerving. Those eyes seem to see into his soul, finding his every weakness. Right now, it feels like Sabaku is the predator, and Naruto is his prey.

"You've worked at the Prosecutor's Office for 2 years?" Sabaku asks. Naruto nods and begins to worry his bottom lip. Sweat drips down his forehead; his mouth runs dry. The pale hands begin leafing through the papers inside the folder; it's Naruto's employee file. Every so often the hands pause and the eyes scan a page.

"It says here, you graduated from Konoha Law with honors. That's surprising."

"Why?"

"Why what, Naruto?"

"Why is it surprising?"

"Because it's such a prestigious school, and you're… how should I put it?" He pauses for a moment looking thoughtful, before focusing on Naruto once more. "You." Pale eyes bore into his, almost demanding some sort of reaction.

Heat suddenly washes through his gut, as his jaw tightens. Blood begins pounding behind his eyes. _This guy is a real bastard. How can he insult me with such a blank expression?! He doesn't even fucking know me!_

After a moment, the crimson-haired male calmly closes the folder. He then intertwines his fingers, places his elbows on the desk, and rests his chin on the bridge he's created. The man's eyes squint slightly as he studies Naruto's face. The rest of his face holds no expression.

Naruto shifts in his seat, uncomfortable under the piercing gaze, but he can't seem to look away. His fingers begin toying with his tie; his foot begins tapping on the carpet. The pale eyes narrow further.

"Do you always wear makeup, Naruto?"

"Huh?" Naruto's eyes widen, surprised by the change in topic. "Makeup?"

Pale eyes narrow to slits. "Or is it just to cover the bruises on your face?"

"Uh… I…" Naruto cringes and feels a blush travel up his neck. One of his tan hands unconsciously touches his cheek. "You can tell?"

The edges of pale pink lips twitch. "Yes. Does it hurt?"

"Umm… Yeah, it does… Heh…" His hand travels from his cheek to the back of his head, as his brows pinch together. _God, I look like the biggest fucking idiot right now._

"May I ask where you got them?" the pale man inquires.

"Where I got them?" The blonde asks, confused.

"Yes. Where did you receive the bruises, Naruto?" The terrifying man leans closer. His eyes hold a predatory gleam.

"Uh…Well… I mean…" _Crap! What was it Shika said? _Naruto's brows, unknowingly, scrunch together in thought._ Oh! Right!_ "I was mugged! At the gym! These fuckers stole my stuff!" he bellows, while pointing towards Sabaku. Naruto instantly clamps his mouth shut and pulls his hand back to his lap. He resists the nearly unbearable urge to look away. _God, that was loud._

The redhead stares steadily, one hand gripping his own chin, one finger gently covering his mouth. The teal eyes travel down the blonde's embarrassed face and lands on his neck. Sabaku gracefully stands up from his chair and walks to the other side of his desk, perching on the edge in front of the blonde. At this distance, Naruto can't help but notice how smooth and creamy the man's skin is, the way his crimson hair falls down to his eyes, the delicately placed black eye-liner rimming…

_And he gives me crap about wearing makeup!_

The red-haired man leisurely lifts his hand and places a finger on the side of Naruto's neck. The blonde starts and looks up with wide blue eyes, unsure of what to think. He feels the finger hook into his collar and tug, exposing more of his neck; his heartbeat quickens. "Did the muggers give you this hickey, as well, Naruto?" Sabaku lips quirk up in a challenging smirk.

The blonde gulps and feels scorching flames envelope his face.

* * *

><p>"C'mon, Naruto. It couldn't have been that bad." Shika slurps a few more noodles into his mouth.<p>

The pair had stopped by Naruto's favorite ramen shop on their way to the subway station after work as a 'pick-me-up.' Naruto, currently finishing his third bowl, has refused to talk about his meeting, wallowing in self-disgusted misery all day. The blonde gulps down the last of the salty broth, before slamming down his bowl. "You don't get it, Shikamaru! It's too horrible to discuss! I don't want to relive that moment of my life!"

"If you tell me what happened, maybe I can tell you how to fix it." The pony-tailed man places his chopsticks on top of his bowl and shoves it out of the way.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Naruto suddenly realizes his crossed arm and matching pout are childish.

Shikamaru gracefully lifts one eyebrow, seemingly knowing Naruto's thoughts. "Naruto."

Naruto takes a deep breathe, before shouting in one breath, "He saw the hickey, Shikamaru! _The hickey!_ The career- destroying hickey on my neck! The career- destroying hickey that I don't remember getting! _The hickey, Shikamaru!"_

Shikamaru's lips twitch. "What did you tell him?"

"I don't know! I panicked! I think I babbled about being attacked by a leech while swimming! He _didn't_ buy it, Shikamaru." Naruto's eyes narrowed as a chuckle escaped the brunette's lips. _"It's so not funny."_

"Ah, Naruto. The things you get yourself into." He shakes his head and gives Naruto a bemused expression. His expression slowly changes to thoughtful. "You know, I'm actually surprised he would ask about it. Even if he is the boss, it wasn't very professional." He pauses for a moment, thinking. "Turn your head. Let me look at your career-destroying hickey again." Naruto complies and Shika leans in for a closer look. "Honestly," he pauses for a moment. "I'm not sure how he could see it." He pauses again, clearly thinking. Suddenly, he seems to come to a sort of realization. "Unless, he…" He hesitates, then quickly turns to stare out the window. "Never mind."

"Unless, he… what?" An uneasy feeling washes over the blonde. It's never good when the lazy genius got one of his hunches. "Shikamaru?" he asks, timidly.

"Nothing, Naruto," he says.

"Tell me. What are you thinking?" the blonde demands.

His friend turns to look him in the face. "Naruto, it was an absurd idea. I've already forgotten it. Besides, it was probably just the light in his office that helped him notice it. You shouldn't dwell on it anymore." He shifts in his seat. "Now, we just need to figure out how to fix your hickey-destroyed reputation."

* * *

><p>Naruto hangs his keys on the hook next to the door of his small studio apartment. He pauses trying to make a decision; warring with himself. Sighing, he wanders into the cramped kitchen to his right and pulls out an intricately etched tumbler from the cabinet. Grabbing a bottle of whiskey, he fills the glass to the brim. Bracing himself, he quickly chugs it before slamming the glass on the laminate counter. He sputters and coughs at the harsh burn tears at throat.<p>

"I hope this isn't becoming a habit," he mumbles to no one.

He then drags his feet across the carpet to his queen-sized bed behind the screen on the left side of his apartment. He quickly strips down to his orange boxers, before hanging up his suit and tie in his small closet. Collapsing onto his black coverlet, he begins to feel the familiar tingling sensation. As his muscles relax. He rolls onto his stomach, and the walls around him spin slightly, as his gingerly rests his head on top of his folded arms. He stares miserably out the window next to his bed. "This definitely made my top 25 shittiest days," he grumbles.

A dark shape suddenly breezes by his window. Naruto's eyes follow the shape of the silhouetted bird, as it flutters away. Its wings gracefully gliding through the air; dying sunlight filtering through its outstretched wings. He really envies that damn bird right about now. What he wouldn't give to be able to fly away and not have to face his new boss again tomorrow…

Sighing, he rolls onto his back, his head dropping back on the mattress. Flashes of his previous conversation causing his stomach to clench: those seething eyes boring into his, his own nervous fidgeting, the deep blushes covering his face and neck. He had felt like such a fool today. He didn't think he had felt that childish since high school when…

He _really_ didn't want to think about right now.

Sighing, He pushes himself up and makes his way back across the apartment to the bathroom next to the front door. The blonde turns on the shower. While the water warms up, his eyes search for the infamous hickey in the mirror. Not even remembering which side of his neck was on, it takes him a few seconds to spot it beneath the makeup. It looks more like a purplish smudge than a hickey. Shikamaru had covered it really well.

How could his boss even realize it was a hickey?

Something felt off.

Shikamaru's unfinished words echo in his mind. _'Unless he…'_

_Unless he… what?_

Naruto chews on his lip in concentration, until the mirror begins to fog. Sighing, he turns, opens the curtain, and climbs into the shower. The scorching water is just what he needs to wash the horrible day away.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! :D<strong>

**Please tell me what you think by reviewing. I would love to know how I can improve. **


	3. Staring

**Wow! Two updates in the same month! I'm excited! I hope you enjoy the direction the story is going in. Please let me know what you think by commenting!**

**Thank you to all of the followers and reviewers of this story. It really makes my day when I receive an email announcing "someone is now following Ughh." Thank you for the support. :D**

**Warning: Language, people who stare at other people too much**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. :(**

**Happy Thanksgiving!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Staring<strong>

"He's staring at you… again," Shikamaru whispers behind his fist.

Naruto grimaces slightly. "I know," he whispers back, while trying not to acknowledge the pale green eyes boring into his skull. The blonde man tries to once again concentrate on the monotone voice of an awkward and somewhat creepy forensic analyst, who is currently going over hair samples and DNA on slides… or something like that. Naruto isn't really sure what the man is talking about; the blonde had been seriously struggling to pay attention all morning. In fact, he can't even remember the creepy guy's name because, unfortunately, he'd been more focused on ignoring the repeated glowers that kept being shot his way from Konohagakure's newest star prosecutor. "Just ignore him," he discreetly mutters. Unable to resist the urge, Naruto's eyes dart over to connect with Sabaku's. He quickly looks away, embarrassed to be caught returning the stare.

It has been six weeks since Sabaku Gaara had first joined the Misdemeanor Unit as a Senior Prosecutor. Within three weeks, the imposing man had captivated enough of the higher-ups with his prosecutorial success that he was quickly reassigned to the Homicide Unit, shocking the majority of the office due to his young age and assumed lack of experience. Soon after, rumors ran wild about the indomitable young man, including his work in Sunagakure, a sprawling metropolis in the desert east of Konohagakure, and his lineage. Rumors had it that the man is the youngest son of the Prosecuting Attorney of Sunagakure, which seemingly explains his natural talent for the profession and his ambitious nature. Due to the beneficial gossip, Sabaku was more readily accepted by the Homicide Unit, and he was soon assigned as the lead prosecutor to one of the department's high-profile murder cases. The case was due to trial in a few weeks, so the prosecution team was currently meeting to make sure all necessary preparations were complete.

The fact that Naruto was allowed in the room was shocking by no stretch of the imagination. Due to the enormity of the case, a few Junior Prosecutors from other departments were allowed to assist the team. This helped the Junior Prosecutors gain valuable experience working on more weighty cases and gave the Senior Prosecutors a chance to scope out future talent and potential promotions. Naruto was stunned and then ecstatic when he received word that he was one of the chosen few. He was less surprised to hear Shikamaru was also chosen, along with Ino Yamanaka, the blonde cutie from the Identity Theft Unit. Naruto was excited and thrilled at the possibility of working such an exciting case with his long-time friend and the possibility of finally getting to know Yamanaka in a _less-than-_professional manner. However, all hopes were shattered when he discovered the lead prosecutor was none other than Sabaku Gaara.

Naruto can safely say he was unequivocally relieved when the terrifying man was transferred out of their department. In the three weeks that Sabaku was a part of their misdemeanor team, Naruto had never felt more anxious or more cross; Sabaku seemed to know how to push all of Naruto's buttons. From treating him like a secretary to subtly insulting his abilities, the blonde felt under fire every second the man was around. Even weeks later, the treatment still boggled his mind. Naruto had no idea why the man seemed to despise him so much. So understandably, when he learned of Sabaku's involvement in the case, he felt his worst nightmare had begun.

Successfully assisting on a case of this magnitude could make his career; alternately, performing poorly could lead him to prosecuting misdemeanor cases for the entirety of his career. The dreadful thought alone was enough to have any young prosecutor contemplating a pleasant jump off the highest tower in the city. Naruto had aspirations of becoming the Prosecuting Attorney of Konoha one day, and that would not happen unless he began trying higher-profile cases, and thus, making a name for himself. Based on past experience, Sabaku sabotaging him every step of the way and solidifying a lengthy stay for the blonde in the Misdemeanor Unit seemed to be a real possibility.

"Uzumaki," a quiet voice effectively cuts through Naruto's daydreaming and interrupts the forensic expert. "Do you have something to share?"

Naruto jumps and looks up at the man he has been trying to ignore all morning, which has proven to be an exceptionally difficult task. The blonde subtly glances around the conference table. All eyes are glued to his face; most are eager to see his reaction. It seems rumors of his relentless treatment by Sabaku have also spread throughout the office.

_I've sunk to the level of a train wreck._

Naruto really can't blame them; if someone else was the new office punching bag, he might be morbidly fascinated, too. He looks to the senior prosecutor; Sabaku sits at the head of the table with that _all-too-familiar _predatory gleam shining in his eyes. Naruto swallows thickly; his mouth suddenly feels dry. "No, Sir."

"Then, you are expected to pay attention," he orders. "Or is that too hard for you to manage?" His face is void of expression, except for his deadly gaze.

Naruto's face colors slightly at being called out in front of so many influential people. "No, Sir."

The red-heads eyes narrow to slits; his teal irises barely visible. "I hope I do not need to remind you that as a Junior Prosecutor on a case of this magnitude, your job is to learn as much as you can as quickly as you can. I understand that may be difficult for you… learning quickly. However, I can guarantee you will learn much more if you are attentive to the discussion and not whispering secrets to your friend."

Naruto bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from responding with '_I'm sure you'd learn more if you weren't staring at me all the time!' _Instead, he responds curtly with a "Yes, Sir."

The analyst clears his throat, clearly uncomfortable, and draws Sabaku's attention back to the front of the conference room. "After further analysis…" The man, after a pause, begins droning on and on about facts and figures and science-y stuff. It's torture.

The only interesting thing about the expert was his fashion sense… or lack thereof. The bushy-haired man was wearing a lab coat with the collar pulled up high enough to cover his chin and, oddly enough, goggles. _Really… where did they find this guy?_

A movement from the other side of the table catches his eye. Yamanaka is shifting in her seat and pulling her silky, long, blonde hair over her shoulder. Naruto can help imagining what that hair might look like fanned around her. His eyes wander over to the top of her button-up blouse, where the top two buttons seem to have come undone. _How convenient. _She shifts again and her breasts push closer together, exposing a bit of cleavage through the opening of her shirt. Naruto feels himself bite the edge of his bottom lip.

"Uzumaki."

Naruto starts and feels a deep blush creep up his neck. He was just caught checking out his co-worker.

_Damn it! This really isn't my day…_

Sabaku, interrupting the presenter for a second time, narrows his eyes and looks a little more insane than usual. "I'm thirsty. Bring me a coffee."

"Coffee?"

"Yes. It's a drink. I'm assuming you've heard of it."

"Ah, Sabaku-san…" a nameless co-worker interjects, his face troubled. "We can send one of the secretaries to get you something to drink. Aiko, if you don't mind?" He hesitantly looks at the young brunette seated in the corner of the room.

"No," Sabaku states firmly, his eyes never leaving the blonde. "I would like Uzumaki to retrieve it. If he is unable to pay attention, he should at least make himself useful." The infuriating smirk widens.

Naruto struggles to keep his face blank; he doesn't want the _fucker_ to know how much this is affecting him. He holds eye contact not wanting to look away.

The soft screech of his fingernails on his leather armrests is the only sound in the room.

It takes a moment before Naruto is able to speak without muttering a sting of invective. "Yes, Sir!" Naruto manages to slap a fake smile on his face, as he stands. "Right away, _Sir,_" he says through the gritted teeth of an absurd smile. He turns and stiffly leaves the room, aware of the faces following his every movement. It takes all of his willpower to _not_ to make a satisfyingly rude hand gesture as he leaves the room.

Naruto makes his way to the small kitchenette located at the end of the hall. Snatching a clean cup, with a shaky hand, he grasps the carafe handle, only to find it empty. "Damn it!" Slamming down the cup, he grips the counter with both hands. He takes a steadying breath.

The blonde hastily opens the cabinet doors above the counter and sifts through the Styrofoam cups, stirring sticks, and napkins in search of the coffee grounds. Finding none, he slams the doors shut, before kneeling to search in the second set of cabinets below the counter. He discovers cardboard cereal boxes, bowls, and bags of plastic spoons. He hastily knocks them aside feeling to the back of the cabinet. Again, no coffee.

A low growl rumbles in his throat. He smashes the doors closed with a smack. Standing, he drums his fingers against the counter. "Where the fuck so they keep the coffee?!" he mutters, frustration mounting. His eyes shift to the fridge. Pursing his lips, he yanks the door open. "Ah!" Perched in the mist of old take-out cartons and bottles of ketchup, a red bag sits innocently waiting to be discovered. Rolling his eyes, he grabs the bag and goes through the motions of making coffee. Once he fills the automatic maker with coffee and water, he jams the green 'On' button.

Turning his back towards the counter, he languidly slides to the floor, resting his forearms atop his bent knees. Letting out a long-suffering sigh, Naruto allows his head to slam against the cabinet door behind him, as he stares unseeingly at the ceiling. It has been a long six weeks. Actually, a long two months, considering half the shit clouding his mind happened before the red-haired_ Psycho_ infested his life. Naruto rests his forehead on one of his forearms and squeezes his eyes shut. _Now is not the time to think about that! _He tries, somewhat unsuccessfully, to concentrate on the sound of water dripping through the coffee filter, filling the carafe below, in an attempt to calm his thoughts. "Hrmmm…" he grunts, frustrated.

His lifts his head and rests his chin on his arm; his lips press tightly together. His other hand reaches up to forcibly grip his hair in an unsuccessful attempt to distract himself. It had been two months, but the words still echo clear in his mind: _"I'm not proud of this, kid… but… I… I knew about you, Naruto…. but… but I was… scared… I'm… I'm not really the kid type…" _That nauseating feeling fills his gut, twisting and rolling. The blonde takes a few deep breathes in an attempt to calm his stomach.

"We don't pay you to daydream, Uzumaki."

An all-too-familiar icy voice sends a jot down his spine. Naruto starts and scrambles to his feet. Turning, he finds himself eye to eye with the green-eyed Psycho. Naruto tries to resist the urge to swallow and stares unblinkingly into those hate-filled eyes.

"Exactly how long does it take to bring me coffee?"

"The coffee is brewing."

The unnerving green eyes shift away from Naruto's to look towards the coffee maker. "It seems to have finished a while ago."

Naruto quickly glances to the coffee pot, and sure enough, the coffee is done. Sabaku brushes pass Naruto and grabs an empty cup and fills it with the steaming liquid.

"While you were fantasizing about your meaningless existence, the meeting has broken for lunch." The crimson-haired man turns a pins the blonde with a pointed glare. He slowly lifts the cup to take a sip, seemingly unaffected by the scalding temperature. "I expect you to be less of an embarrassment when we reconvene."

Although the blonde knows he should keep his mouth shut, he can't hold himself back any longer. "What the hell is your problem?" Naruto asks, through gritted teeth.

The pale eyes bore into his own. "You."

"Obviously. But what the hell did I do?"

The pale man scoffs, and turns his head to the side.

"Tell me!" the blonde insists. Luckily, he resists the urge to stomp his foot.

Teas eyes snap back to his own. "Just stay the hell out of my way."

"Stay out of your way?! How am I even in your way?"

Sabaku purses his lips, as his eyes shift away again. "You're a distraction."

"Distraction?"

Sabaku turns back to meet his gaze. "Yes, a distraction. You loud, obnoxious, and…" he seems to search for the right word. "Bright-colored.

Naruto is taken aback and almost laughs. "Bright-colored?!"

"Yes, bright-colored." The crimson-haired man glares, challengingly.

"Is that supposed to be an insult? What does that even mean?" Naruto's lifts his hands, palms up, in exasperation.

Sabaku's expression seems to darken further, if that's possible, and his lips form a thin-line. "It _means_ you're annoying."

Naruto blankly stares for a moment, his mouth open wide, not sure how to respond. _Is this really happening? My boss thinks I'm annoying because of my coloring?_ Naruto exhales and closes is gaping mouth. It is time to ask the question that's been plaguing his mind. "Why exactly do you hate me so much?" he asks in a serious tone.

Without a second of hesitation, Sabaku shoots back, "I hate everyone. You're nothing special." The way it rolls off the man's tongue, Naruto knows Sabaku has claimed this often. Very often. Almost like a mantra.

"You can't actually hate everyone," the blonde returns, disbelieving.

Naruto receives no response.

"How can you hate everyone? What about your family? You have to love them, right?"

"Don't measure me by your standards. A family doesn't equate love," Sabaku furiously snaps back.

Naruto stares for a moment, lightly sobered. He opens his mouth to reply, but nothing comes out. Naruto had always believed that a family was love. Unconditional love. So hearing someone with a family negating this convection, it all just seems wrong. Backwards. "I thought that's what a family was."

Sabaku looks like he wants to retort, but he pauses and looks down for a moment. When he looks back up at Naruto, he asks in a quiet voice, "Why do you care?" He pale eyes seem guarded.

The change in tone surprises Naruto. _He sounds almost vulnerable._ "Sabaku, I…" he hesitates in answering. Naruto reaches out to place a hand on the man's shoulder, but Sabaku moves away quickly before he can be touched. The man's guarded expression is once again replaced with a poisonous glare.

"Listen, Uzumaki, I understand you must have a lot of… feelings. I will ask you to go feel those feelings somewhere else with someone else. I'm not interested." He tone is clipped and forced.

"Hey, I didn't mean…"

"Save it. Again, I'm not interested. I'm going to speak very plainly. Hopefully, in a way that even you can understand. The only thing I'm interested in is winning cases, particularly this case. If you do anything to jeopardize that, I will destroy you. I will not hesitate. When I say you're a distraction, I mean that there is a high probability that you will get in the way of me winning this case. You're unpredictable and brash, and I don't need you around. I have already attempted to have you removed from the case, but Hiruzen would not listen."

It takes a full three seconds to sink in. "Wait! What?! Hiruzen? As in Sarutobi Hiruzen? Sarutobi? You went to Sarutobi?" Naruto feels he body wash with outrage. Sarutobi Hiruzen is _the _Prosecuting Attorney of Konoha, which means he runs the entire prosecution office and is Naruto's boss's boss's boss's boss. If a lead prosecutor, like Sabaku, complains about him to Sarutobi, it could be detrimental to his career. He could be shoved to the side and forgotten, to forever live in the Misdemeanor Unit. Or worse… he could be fired. "How could you do that? I've done nothing wrong and you know it!"

Sabaku glowers. "I hate repeating myself. As I've said, you're a distraction and I want you to stay away from me. I went to Hiruzen to try to make that happen, but he would not listen. If you jeopardize this case, I will take further action." Sabaku brushes pass Naruto, as he exits the room, leaving behind a very angry and confused blonde.

Naruto stares unseeingly at the wall above the counter. He seriously cannot understand how a person who knows him so little, could go so far as to attempt to get Naruto kicked off his first big case. To attempt to ruin Naruto's career. It just didn't make any sense. And the reasons the man had given were even more incomprehensible. He was obnoxious? He was a distraction? His was colored wrong? Now that just sounded racist… or maybe blonde-ist.

Naruto recalls all of their past encounters, and it just doesn't add up. The reasons don't add up. Sure, the blonde had accidentally insulted Sabaku on the man's first day, but Naruto had been hung-over and late. And he had apologized for that weeks ago. After that first meeting, Naruto has tried his hardest to be pleasing and to get on the man's good side, but all he has received for his efforts is venomous stares and mistreatment. It just doesn't make any sense. What exactly has he done? The man's excuses just don't add up to the amount of hatred he is receiving. And to even complain to Hiruzen?!

The confusion only serves to make him feel somewhat helpless, and this further fuels his anger and frustration. _It has to stop. I've had enough! I have to make him stop._

The sound of his heavy breathing fills his ears, and his vision slightly blurred from the blood pounding behind his eyes. Between the pulses in his vision, he sees it. The absolute _worst _thing imaginable is hanging on the wall before him.

A _fucking _motivational poster.

Sad, pleading eyes beg for his help as a small, fluffy kitten holds on to a branch for dear life. "Hang in there, buddy," it says.

Naruto feels his hands clench at his sides. Right now, he doesn't want to '_Hang in there_.' He'd much rather punch the pathetic cat in the face. Or even better, punch _a crazy, red-haired, pale-eyed, tattooed, sadistic creep who hates him for no damn good reason _in the face!

Naruto spends a few blissful moments imaging the satisfying _snapping_ of bone beneath his powerful, tan fist, the crimson blood _dripping _down creamy skin, and the astonished, pain-stricken teal eyes _pleading _for his mercy.

Naruto mouth slowly curves into a devious smile. Teeth bared. Eyes alight.

It's about time to fight fire with fire.

* * *

><p>"But, I would only need thirteen meters of sting, a tomato, four small oxygen tanks, a shark, and a pair of green running shorts! It would totally work, Shika! I've thought it all through," the blonde exclaims, pounding his fists on the table.<p>

"Naruto," Shikamaru sighs, placing his head in his hands.

"C'mon, man, you hav'ta admit, it'd be _fuckin' hilarious_!" The brown-haired man across from him exclaims, through fits of laughter.

Naruto smiles at the show of support from his long-time friend, Kiba Inuzuka. The two had met the beginning of sophomore year of high school, while competing for coveted spots on the school's nationally competitive basketball team. After a year of name-calling and beating the shit out of each other every chance they got, a true friendship formed. Go figure. "See, Shikamaru. Even _Kiba _thinks it's a good idea."

"That's part of the problem," is Shikamaru's dry response.

Kiba stops laughing to shot a glare towards the pony-tailed man. _"What's that s'posed ta mean?!"_

"Naruto, I think you would lose your job, and most likely end up in jail." Shikamaru calmly pointed out, ignoring the Kiba's outburst.

"Then, give me a better idea! I need to put that_ psycho_ in his place!" Naruto had called an emergency Meeting of the Minds after work. Today's events and revelations had been the last straw. It's time to get even and put a stop to Sabaku's tyrannical reign. The only question was how.

The three friends had met at a dingy pub near Kiba's family-owned dog shelter, where he had been working since high school. The pub was dimly-lit, with old gadgets and neon beer signs lining the dark, wood-paneled walls. The smell of fish n' chips and cigars hung in the air. They were seated in a secluded booth in the back corner of the restaurant, empty beer mugs littering the table.

"Naruto, do you really think antagonizing your boss further is really a good idea?"

"It's better than being treated like the office loser! He's going to destroy any chance I have of a promotion. Or maybe even my entire career! He went to Hiruzen!"

"What'd you do ta get on his bad side anyway? Piss in his coffee?" Kiba smirks at his own joke.

"HAHA! I wish! In fact, that may be exactly what the creep needs!" The blonde laughs imaging the look on Sabaku's face after drinking piss-tainted coffee. _Classic._

"Again. Not helpful to your career, Naruto." Shika reminds.

"Right," he grudgingly agrees. "Honestly, Kiba, I really have no idea why he has it in for me so bad. I showed up looking like shit once. Just once!" The blonde holds up one finger to further emphasize his point. "And I may have knocked him over… and then insulted him, but I didn't realize who he was at the time." Naruto cringes at the memory.

Kiba barks a laugh. "You're hilarious man!"

Naruto frowns and continues as if he wasn't interrupted. "But I already apologized for that the next day. Several times after that. I tried being helpful, which he seemed to hate. I tried becoming his friend and being nice, which he seemed to hate even more. And now I'm trying to grudgingly ignore him, which he seems to hate the most! I'm not sure what else to do. He almost seems to find some sick sadistic pleasure in torturing me," the blonde sighs.

"I've been wondering about his behavior as well." Shikamaru comments. "It seems odd."

"Maybe the guy has a crush on you." Kiba laughs.

Naruto's jaw drops. "Wait… W-what?! How can you even suggest that?" Naruto asks, incredulous.

"Because that would be hilarious!" Kiba laughs harder, clutching his side. "Like a kindergartener tugging on the pigtails of the girl he secretly loves."

He grabs Kiba's collar across the table and roughly shakes him. "Are you serious?" Naruto's blue eyes are interrogative, as his voice rises an octave in panic. "You really think he like me?"

"How the hell would I know?" He tears himself out of Naruto's grasp. "I've never met the guy!" Kiba exclaims. He pauses for a second, before his slightly irritated expression changes to playful. "Y'know, it is sorta suspicious how quick you are ta believe it. Do you want him ta like you? I mean, you sure do talk about him a lot. How he speaks, how he dresses, how he looks, and every conversation you two have." Kiba pauses and then waggles his eyebrows. "You think his cute, don't 'cha? All psycho and spiteful."

"_KIBA, what-the-fuck?! Why would I want that psycho to like me? That's weird on so many levels! Don't even joke like that!" _ Naruto shrieks, attracting the attention of the majority of the pub. Sending apologetic looks to the tables nearby, Naruto turns back to his friends and whispers, "I don't like him!"

"It's suspicious how much you're denyin' it." Kiba teases with a smirk.

"Shika, back me up on this!" Naruto implores to his friend with a sad, indignant pout.

Shika's face is thoughtful as he studies Naruto's face. "Kiba may have a point."

Kiba laughs boisterously, pointing at the blonde. "You totally have a crush!"

Naruto starts to panic. "I swear I don't like the guy! I've never thought about him that way! I-I hate him even!"

"Hate's a pretty strong word, Naruto!" Kiba giggles at the murderous glare he receives.

"You know I like women, Kiba!"

"Doesn't mean you can't like men, too!"

Naruto's face colors slightly. "Kiba, I'm going to kill you, if you don't shut the hell up!" he mutters in a threatening tone.

"Why so defensive, Naruto?" Kiba's eyes narrow. A teasing smile on his lips. "Ya hidin' somethin'?"

Naruto's face turns a deep shade of red, as he tries to lunge across the table, intent on throttling the smirking man across form him. Shikamaru grabs Naruto by the shoulder and harshly shoves him back in his seat. "The last thing we need is another bar fight between you two," giving each of the men a stern look.

Naruto huffs and crosses his arms over his chest, giving Kiba an aggravated glare. Kiba smirks wider, looking triumphant.

"And what I meant, Naruto, is about the possibility of Sabaku being attracted to you, but not understanding how to properly show it or perhaps trying to deny it," Shika states in a serious tone, effectively interrupting Naruto's homicidal thoughts. Once he sees he has Naruto's full attention, he continues, "He pays you more interest than any other person. He's always watching you, calling on you, and making you do things for him. Even stopping meeting to interact with you."

"Shika," Naruto says seriously, licking his suddenly dry lips. "It's not as funny when you say that."

"I'm not trying to be funny, Naruto." Shikamaru gives him a deadpan expression. "I've actually had that opinion for several weeks now. It would explain his unexplainable hatred of you and why he considers you a distraction."

Naruto feels the bottom drop out of his stomach, as his faces heats up again. Naruto stares into his friend's eyes for a long moment. Unnerved, he looks at the table, suddenly interested in a splotch of dried ketchup. Biting his bottom lip, Naruto rests his head into his left-hand, leaning his elbow on the table. "That's too weird. I don't want to think about it," he mumbles, quietly.

Kiba coughs and clears his throat. "How 'bout another round?" he says, obviously trying to break the tension.

Naruto looks at his friend with a grateful smile, relieved to drop the subject. "Sure."

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading. Please leave me feedback in the comment section.<strong>

**:D**


	4. Awkward

This chapter in dedicated to**Jessabellums** for being the number one fan of Ughh. :D

(I really want to get you a button, but I can't figure out how to shove it through my computer!)

**I want to thank everyone who has reviewed, followed, and favorited Ughh! It really means a lot that you have taken the time to support my story and really helps to motivate me. :D **

**Warnings: Language, Awkward!Naruto, unexplainable blushing,.: imaginary voices :., earth shattering revelations**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. :(**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Awkward<strong>

Awkward. That is the only word Naruto can use to describe himself. His voice feels _awkward_. His movements feel _awkward_. His face feels _awkward_. Everything is so _awkward!_

He can't seem to get Kiba's and Shikamaru's teasing words out of his head. Because, that's what their words have to be: Teasing. There is absolutely no _fucking_ way his boss is secretly into him.

There is no way!

But somehow every time that smooth voice speaks or those piercing teal eyes turn his way, he feels himself freeze. He has no idea what to say, how to move, or what his face is supposed to look like. How does he normally talk? Normally move? Normally look? He can't remember! And the more he tries to remember the more stilted and forced his actions become.

He feels like his body has been taken over by some stupid, _awkward_ alien adjusting to human life! _Raaaah! It's so annoying!_

And the worst part is all the _blushing!_ Every time Naruto makes eye contact with the Psycho, he feels his face flush as paranoid thoughts fill his head. What the hell is that about? He had absolutely no reason to blush. Every time it happens, he's reminded of his behavior back in middle school, when he had that ridiculous crush for Haruno Sakura, and he found himself blushing and stuttering every time she-…

_Wait… did I really just equate this situation to a crush I had in middle school?_

Naruto feels a formidable blush cover his face and neck. Yet, again.

_This. Is. Not. A. Crush. Not on either end! Neither of us is crushing on the other! We hate each other!_

_.: There's a fine line between lov- :. _

_Gah! Stop talking! _Naruto mentally dropkicks that infuriating, grumbly voice in his brain before it can finish its statement. Crossing his arms across his chest, he closes his eyes and wills the blush away.

Unfortunately… it doesn't work.

_This is all part of The Psycho's plan to destroy me! I know it!_ The blonde opens his blue eyes and turns to fire a soul-withering glare at his freak of a boss. _He fucking broke me!_

Unfortunately, the glare is wasted, as his crimson-haired boss is currently shooting question after question at a slightly petrified jury panel. Today is jury selection day. The trial is set to begin in a week, so the attorneys on both sides are currently weeding out jurors who could hold bias towards one side or other. Four jurors have already been excused, but at this point it seems like the selections are pretty much final.

Naruto, seated on the bench directly behind the prosecutor's table, had come to see which jurors will be selected for the case and to see Sabaku in action. Although his boss had been working the Konoha courts from seven weeks now, Naruto had yet to see him in a courtroom. But now that he has finally seen him, the blonde has to admit: the man was a force to be reckoned with.

Cunning, intelligent, and intimidating, Sabaku is already keeping the defense attorney on his toes. With a smirk and a certain amount of unexplainable pride, Naruto glances smugly over to the defense table. Naruto's smirk widens as he sees the defense attorney is currently wearing a very impatient expression, tapping his finger on the desk. The impatient man is waiting for Sabaku's quick-fire questioning to complete and for his turn with the jurors once again. Naruto studies the man for a moment and has to admit, the defense attorney could be Sabaku's twin.

_Well, minus the teal eyes, tattoo, and eyeliner. _

This man's eyes are an interesting shade of rust brown. His red hair is also slightly longer than Sabaku's. But, besides that those differences, looked very similar. Similar build, similar hair color, similar pale skin. It was surprising.

_Although, Sabaku is way cut-… Never mind._

Ignoring his weird inner-thoughts, Naruto's eyes shift to the defendant: Deidara, The Artistic Terrorist. His catch phrase was "Bombing in the name of Art." Although, the type of art the criminal enjoyed creating included mangled bodies and shrapnel.

_Not exactly family friendly._

Naruto snorts at his own joke, but quickly freezes when Sabaku sends him a warning look. Naruto's face blushes as he shows Sabaku a sheepish smile, and it seems to work because Sabaku turns away from Naruto and resumes his questioning. Relieved, Naruto glances back to the Deidara and takes in his appearance. The man's blonde hair is combed into a half-pony tail, with the majority of the shoulder-length hair falling along his back. He blue eyes, somewhat hidden by long bangs framing one side of his face, slightly slant down and holds a calculating expression, as he studies Sabaku's back. A slight smile graces his lips. He looks a little gaunter and less well-feed than in the News reports, but Naruto would recognize that face anywhere. The man was infamous.

And the man was an enigma.

His cheerily bright attitude and his ever-present smile seem to contrast with the deep-seeded rage hidden within. About two years ago, Deidara began doing the unthinkable; he began setting off bombs in heavy-populated area around the Wind Country, which is to the east of the Fire Country and Konoha, and is where Sunagakure resides. After each well-executed bombing, the man would send a disturbing video to a local news channel, analyzing the "artwork" he had created. He would note the trajectory of the people flying, the vibrant colors, and the overall composition of the 'piece.'

It was sickening.

After managing to evade capture for an entire year by staying on the run, he was finally taken down by a team of highly-trained operatives in Sunagakure. Before his capture, he had managed to bomb the capital building of the city. Thirty-four people were killed. Luckily, his escape plan back-fired, and he was captured instead. During questioning with the police, he explained his actions by stating passionately, "I wanted to share my art with the world, hm!" After a quick trial in Suna, he was sentenced to ninety-seven consecutive life sentences.

_In other words, the fucker was destinted to rot in prison. _

Naruto shoots a feral grin towards Deidara at the thought.

So, now it was Konoha's turn for justice. During the criminal's year-long killing spree, there was a similar bombing in Konohagakure, where seventeen people were killed when a mall was bombed. The bombings fit every part of the man's Modus operandi, shortened to 'MO', from the type explosives to the detonation equipment to the setting of the so-called 'artwork.' The only problem with Konoha's case against the man was the lack of confession. Every bombing in Suna had the video confessional to accompany it. For some reason, Deidara refused to acknowledge that he was the one behind the bombing, although all of the evidence pointed right to him.

The prosecution had a pretty solid theory as to why the man failed to confess: the death penalty. Konoha has it, while Suna does not. If Deidara is trying to avoid the death penalty in Konoha, it would make perfect sense that he refused to confess to the massacre. So, now it was up to Sabaku and his assisting prosecutors to prove the man's guilt to a jury.

The court battle will be grueling, but Naruto is sure The Psycho is up to the task.

The Psycho: Naruto's gotten somewhat attached to that _pet-name_. It seems fitting for the man that gives him crazy death glares and tortures him for no apparent reason.

_.: Except for the most important reason: The Psycho is totally in denial-love with you._ :.

_GAH!_

Naruto wills the voice in his head to go die somewhere. Preferably in a corner, so Naruto doesn't have to clean it up later.

_Wait… did I say 'pet-name?'... Isn't that what couples-… _

…_!_

_Nickname! I meant nickname! I am definitely not giving him pet-names!_

_.: Naruto… maybe you're the one in denial. I mean, you're giving him pet-names and referring to the two of you as a couple. :._

_Shut up, stupid voice! I am not in denial because there's nothing to deny! And I already said I didn't mean 'pet-name.' I meant 'nickname.' It was just a mistake with words._

_.: Maybe it wasn't a mistake. :._

_It was a mistake! I didn't mean it like that!_

_.: Sure, you didn't :._

_I didn't! It's not like that!_

_.: For not being in denial, you sure are denying a lot. :._

_Rrrrrrrrrrrr…. Just shut up, voice! I don't like the guy! I'm totally not into him! Well, I mean, his teal eyes are sort of captivating and the eye-liner actually works on him. He's also pretty fit. He looks like he could have nice abs under that suit and his butt looks nicely toned. And I can't help but dig the hair. Red's pretty hot. And the tattoo… Mmmm… I like it. Not a bad looking dude, really._

_.: … :._

_What?_

_.: For not being into the guy, you sure seem to have really put some thought into it. :._

…

_I told you to shut up! The only reason I thought about it at all was because of what Shika and Kiba said about him liking me. If a guy likes you, you have to wonder what it would be like. And it was only a few dreams. _

_.: …? :._

_Crap! I-I mean… Arrh! Whatever! It wasn't like it was a big deal! It wasn't explicit dreams or anything! We just cuddled and made-out a little._

_.: …?! :._

_J-just go back to your corner! And keep your mouth shut!_

_.: Naruto, sometimes it's easier to- :._

_I said, "Shut up!" Naruto shouts. _Suddenly, a cold, sinking feeling runs down his spine.

The courtroom is quiet.

Every pair of eyes are upon him. Including, a very angry, very teal pair currently sending him ocular death threats. Naruto sheepishly rubs the back of his neck and lets out some nervous laughter, as he sinks back into the wooden bench beneath him. "Heh heh heh…" He shoots what he hopes is a charming smile to the judge. Unfortunately, it doesn't work.

She doesn't seem_ remotely_ amused.

"Did you just tell me to 'shut up'?"

"N-No, Sir- Ma'am! Your honorableness, Ma'am! I was talking to mysel-… uhh… to umm… I was talking to…" Naruto bites his bottom lip and frantically searches around the room. Unable to locate a good enough subject, he pleadingly looks to Sabaku for guidance. All he receives is a rather scary glower. Cringing, he mumbles, "I'll just be quiet now."

"Sabaku, I would appreciated if you taught your subordinate proper courtroom etiquette. As for you," She sends a chilling look towards Naruto. "If you make so much as another peep during the course of this trial, I will have you held in contempt." Her brown eyes drill into his soul, and he can't help feeling the need to relieve himself in his pants. She's that scary.

The judge gives Naruto one last venomous glare, before leaning into her high-backed, wooden chair. Her blonde bangs swish around her face as she orders Sabaku to proceed. Another twenty minutes pass, while Naruto attempts to be on his best behavior. It sort of works, since he refrains from making any more loud declarations and manages to stay relatively silent. Even the voice in his head is quiet. After the jury has been selected, the judge releases everyone and Deidara is carried back into custody by three armed guards.

Naruto stands up and stretches his arms into the air, yawning boisterously with his eyes shut. His joints pop and his muscles tense. It feels amazing. Satisfied, he lowers his arms and sleepily opens his eyes.

_Teal._

… _wait, teal?!_

Naruto is suddenly staring into a pair of teal eyes. He gulps. They don't look happy.

"Come with me."

Naruto suddenly feels a hand clamp around his upper arm, and his body is being dragged along out of the court room. His feet stumble, as he attempts to stay upright, losing his balance several times. The man pulling him doesn't seem to care or notice.

Naruto is suddenly shoved through a doorway, and he hears the door slam shut behind him. A faint click of a deadbolt being thrown bounces off the tiled walls, and Naruto realizes he has been locked inside a bathroom. He turns around and freezes.

_With The Psycho._

Sabaku stands before the door wearing a dangerous glare. He fist balled at his sides. Strained breaths leaving his mouth.

That's the exact moment Naruto realizes he's in trouble. Big Trouble.

Sabaku starts walking towards him, and Naruto feels himself instinctually take a step backwards. Sabaku keeps coming and Naruto keeps stepping back. Suddenly, Naruto feels a wall press against his back, but Sabaku keeps coming. An arm shoots out from Sabaku, and Naruto feels himself pressed further into the wall.

Only centimeters separate their bodies.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Are you trying to be cute?"

Naruto feels his face flush, as his thoughts run wild due to the question and the proximity of his boss. Unfortunately, his mind once again races in a direction it really shouldn't and lands on a particular question it really shouldn't. However, this being Naruto… "You think I'm cute?" he asks, somewhat hopefully.

A growl rumbles deep in Sabaku's chest, as he presses impossibly close to the blonde. Naruto can feel the heat rolling off the svelte body aligned with his own. A clean and slightly-musky scent fills his nose. Warm puffs of air are ghosting over his lips. _Oh God…_ Naruto licks his now trembling lips, as he stares into the smoldering, teal eyes that seem to consume him. Their noses lightly touch and Naruto feels his body stiffen in anticipation.

"This is exactly what I was talking about." Sabaku's low grumble fills the tiled room. Warm breath puffs against Naruto's lips with every word.

Naruto stifles the urge to moan.

Instantly, the words uttered in their last conversation fills Naruto's head. 'You're a distraction.' Now, Naruto could clearly see what the red-head had meant. It seems Sabaku has become a distraction for Naruto, as much as Naruto seems to be a distraction for Sabaku. The blonde was constantly getting distracted in meetings by thoughts of his boss. His sleep was constantly distracted by thoughts of his boss. And, to top it all off, he had just gotten so distracted by thoughts of his boss, Naruto had accidentally shouted in front of a crowded courtroom because he was having an argument about whether or not he had feeling for said boss with an imaginary voice in his head. If that wasn't distraction than Naruto didn't know what was!

"-not even listening now, are you?"

"Huh?" Naruto's eyes once again focus on the smoldering, teal eyes before him.

Another rumble fills the room. "As I've told you before, I hate repeating myself."

The hand on Naruto's shoulder digs in a bit painfully. For some reason, the blonde doesn't seem to mind. _Distracting._

"-zumaki!"

"Huh?" Naruto eyes flick down to the plump lips that just shouted his name, mere millimeters from his own. _Distracting._

Naruto's head bangs harshly against the wall, as his body is shaken.

"-till not listening!"

"Oww! What? What are you trying to say?" Naruto reaches up to rub the back of his head, but stills when he feels his check rub against Sabaku's. _Distracting._

"-f the case."

"Wait, what?" Naruto wills himself to pay attention and focuses on the teal eyes of his irate boss.

A long pause. "I really wish I could kill you right now."

Naruto's mouth speaks before he brain can stop it. "Kill me? I thought you wanted to kiss me?"

"Why… why would I want to kiss you?" Sabaku's normally emotionless voice sounds incredulous. Almost appalled. The red-head pulls his face back to get a better look of the blonde's face, searching his feature in a way that suggests he believes Naruto must be joking. When it's clear that Naruto is, in fact, _not_ joking, Sabaku's face settles for a faintly perplexed look. As if, he can't figure out why Naruto would come to this conclusion.

It really sucks.

Naruto fills his face flush, as the bottom of his stomach drops out. _I guess Shikamaru was wrong. He doesn't like me. _Naruto bites his bottom lip.

The blonde suddenly feels the pressing need to defend himself. "Well… Y-you pushed me up against the wall of a bathroom, after locking the door, and then you told me I was cute! What was I supposed to think?"

"You thought…" Sabaku pauses, "that I was going to kiss you?" he finishes, sounding exasperated.

"You're really close! And you're all breathing on me!" Naruto cries back, his face glowing with embarrassment. "I-I'm just as confused as you are!" Naruto pointedly nods, as if it helps to make his point.

_.: No, you aren't. You know exactly what you want. :._

_Gah! I thought I told you to die! Haven't you caused me enough trouble today?!_

_.: Well, if you would just accep- :._

_Shut up! I'm not listening to you. There is nothing to accept! _

Naruto suddenly feels much colder as Sabaku releases him and walks across the tiny space to the opposite wall next to the sinks. Before the man can fully turn his back to the blonde, Naruto almost swears he sees the hint of a blush staining Sabaku's normally pale cheeks.

"I didn't mean it like that." The red-head grits out. He head tilted down.

Naruto stares for a moment, feeling off-kilter. He licks his dry lips, as he pushes himself away from the wall and readjusts the jacket of his navy-blue suit. He combs shaky fingers through his unkempt blonde hair. His eyes zero in on the lithe back of the figure in front of him. A crisp black suit hangs off the man's strong shoulders. His fiery, red hair catching the light thrown from the fluorescent bulbs glowing brightly in the ceiling. Naruto really wants to grab that hair.

Suddenly, an indignant and irrational fury courses through him. "Then, how did you mean it, _Sabaku_? Pinning a subordinate against the wall of a locked bathroom? Not exactly professional, is it?"

Sabaku's back straightens, and he whips around; his hands balled at his sides. "Do you really want to talk about professionalism?" he snaps, as his face forms an alarming snarl. "How about standing up and shouting like a _psychotic person _during jury selection?"

"_Psychotic_?! _You,_ of all people, are calling _me_ psychotic? _You're_ the most psychotic person I know!" Naruto points a hand accusingly.

"What exactly makes me psychotic?" Even while asking the question, Sabaku's eyes seem to take on a slightly insane hue, widening enough to show his blood-shot sclera.

Something about that look scares the bejesus out of the blonde.

Unnerved, and yet strangely egged-on, by the image of the frightening man in front of him, Naruto shouts, "What doesn't make you psychotic? You're like a fucking monster!" Naruto is vaguely aware that his feet have left the ground. It is a bewildering feeling. Everything becomes a little clearer once his head slams with a resounding crack against the bathroom tiles behind him.

He is being attacked by a person he just accused of being psychotic and called a monster. _Probably not good._

His vision blurs for a moment, before he focuses on the teal eyes once again dominating his view. He panics when he suddenly realizes a hand is wrapped loosely around his throat. Dread floods through his body and chills his bones. _This is definitely not good._

"You don't know what you're fucking talking about." The low and eerily-calm words pervade the blonde's ear; lips brush against his rim of his ear. The hand on his throat tightens slightly.

At this moment, one thing is certain in Naruto's mind: he is not ready to die. He thinks of all the things he has yet to accomplish, like becoming the Prosecuting Attorney of Konohagakure or, more importantly, eating ramen from every restaurant in a 50 kilometer radius, before he can allow himself to die. And he certainly doesn't want to die in a grungy, courthouse bathroom. That's just downright depressing.

Naruto snaps his eyes shut and prays to any deity who might hear him. Even to the God of Grungy, Courthouse Bathrooms! Or maybe Goddess! He isn't one to discriminate!

As if his panicked prayers are answered, the hand around his neck quickly slides away, and Naruto feels something grip the lapel of his jacket. Heavy breathing reaches the blonde's ears, and he feels a weight settle on his shoulder. He opens his eyes to find Sabaku resting his crimson-haired head on the blonde's shoulder.

And Naruto suddenly feels the strange need to wrap his arms around the vulnerable-looking man and nuzzle his face into the man's neck.

It was weird.

He bites his bottom lip and tears his gaze away from his boss, in an attempt to quickly smother the needy feeling…

_Before I decide to act on it._

Naruto's eyes wander and land on a mirror hanging on the wall adjacent to them. He can't help but be struck by the picture they make. Naruto: looking confused, hands raised, almost touching the man before him. Sabaku: breathing heavy, clutching Naruto's jacket, and eyes screwed shut.

That needy feeling to comfort Sabaku returns to full force.

"Sorry," Naruto mumbles, reluctantly, forcing his hands back to his sides. "I shouldn't have called you… a monster." He cringes internally, embarrassed by his own behavior. Now that he really think about it, 'monster' is a pretty cruel name to call a person. He sighs. "It was wrong and… I didn't actually mean it. I was just angry and… em-." He pauses and wills himself to finish that statement. "I was embarrassed."

_Because I may have… at the time… wanted you to kis-… Eh heh… let's not go there. _

Sabaku continues to take strained breaths, not acknowledging the he has heard the blonde's apology. Confused, Naruto lifts his hand and touches the man's shoulder. "Hey, Sabaku-"

Sabaku suddenly snap out of whatever trance he was in and pulls away, as if shocked by an electric current. He pins Naruto with an angry and confused glare, his lips pressed tightly together. His eyes search Naruto's face and he seems to come to a sort of decision. After a moment of apparently calming breaths, he flattens his hair, and readjusts his suit. Then, he grits out, "You're off the case."

"Huh?" His eyes widen, as his head tilts to the side, trying to understand what he has just heard. This isn't what the blonde was expecting to hear. Maybe an apology or an explanation…

"Today, you potentially ruined our relationship with the judge by telling her to 'Shut up.' Your behavior may jeopardize the case, if the defense finds a way to use this against us. This is exactly what I predicted would happen."

"Now, wai-"

"Besides this," Sabaku interrupts, "it has become increasingly clear that we are unable to work together, since you seem to think that I'm a…" He pauses and sends another glare at Naruto. "That I'm a psychotic monster." His voice is filled with distain and loathing.

Naruto blushes. "I already apologize for that!" Naruto yells, trying to get a word in. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry!"

Sabaku glares for a moment, hesitating his next words. "You also thought I was trying to.." Sabaku looks to the side.

Naruto doesn't miss the blush this time.

"You thought I was trying to kiss you."

Naruto isn't sure if should smile at the picture Sabaku makes. Naruto again experiences that same needy feeling from before.

Sabaku clears his throat and meets Naruto's blue eyes once again. "I want to you report to Hiruzen tomorrow morning and ask to be excused from the case. If you ask, I'm sure he will listen."

"Sabaku, I don't think that's the only option here. Just… give me another chance. I promise not to embarrass you in court or suggest that you're trying to kiss me or call anyone names. I promise! You can count on me!"

Sabaku's teal eyes turn hesitant, as his lips press tightly together. "Naruto…" The man pauses and swallows. He looks down a take a deep breath. When his eyes lift again, they've turned hard. "Just do it." Without another word, Sabaku walks over to the bathroom door, unlocks it, and hastily disappears as the door swings shut.

Naruto stares a bit dazed at the closed wooden door. The quiet sound of his shallow breathing fills the room. He rests his head against the wall behind him and grimaces as a sharp pain flares up. He sighs, as he turns his head to the side and looks back into that same mirror. Suit rumpled. Face flushed. Eyes jumbled.

_After all that, even after him almost choking me and kicking me off the case, why it that the one thing stuck in my head is that… he called me 'Naruto' for the first time? _

_.: It's coming. :._

_What? What's coming?_

_.: The revelation. :._

_The revelation? What are you talking about?_

Suddenly, a strange feeling washes over Naruto as he stares at his rumpled reflection in the mirror.

_Oh God… _

His blue eyes widen as the pieces fall together. One. By. One.

The nonstop staring, the inexplicable blushing, the heated yelling, the supposed kissing, the relentless thoughts, the comforting dreams… Oh god, the dreams.

They all pointed to only one conclusion.

And he can't ignore it any longer.

_I think… _

_I might actually… _

Naruto bites his bottom lip, unable to stop his next thought. His shoulders slump, resigned to the truth.

_I like Sabaku._

_.: And there it is. :._

Naruto's bewildered expression suddenly twists into pouty glare.

_But I still really hate you._

_His inner voice smirks, rather smugly._

_.: Understandable… :._

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><p><strong>YAY! The story is moving along. And Naruto has finally realized his attraction.<strong>

**I had a crush like this in high school. We would fight all the time, and sometimes I was really mean. It took me a while to realize I actually like the guy. Silly me. But by then, I was too embarrassed to say anything. **

**Hmm… so let's see how Naruto deals with it. I guess we'll find out in the next chapter.**

**In the last few chapters, I've added in descriptions of characters from the canon, without telling you who they are…. I wonder if you can guess all of them correctly. *evil grin***

**Thanks for Reading! Please leave your thoughts and suggestions!**


	5. Troublesome and Pathetic

**Hey yo! I can't believe I'm posting a chapter so soon after another chapter. I feel like I need to make up for lost time, since I spent a whole year sitting on this story, so I had lots of time to mull over the plot. Just not enough time, or sanity, to actually write it.**

**I've recently started Beta-ing for Captured by Noodles, who's creating some amazing and cute SasuNaru stories. I suggest giving her stories a read, if you haven't already. She's very inspiring and has a very big heart. She always makes sure to deliver her stories on time, which has motivated me to write faster and deliver my own chapters as well. Thank you for inspiring me, Noodles!**

**I'm excited I am now up to 20 followers! YAY! It's fun thinking that twenty other people are interested in how this story turns out. I hope this chapter meets your expectations. :D Please let me know what you think at the end.**

**Warnings: Language, Extreme Pouting, PatheticBall!Naruto, More earth-shattering revelations, Overall troublesomeness**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. :(**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5: Troublesome and Pathetic<strong>

"Are you going to hide in my cubicle all day?"

A muffled, very pouty, grunt answers.

An audible sigh and the sound of a rolly chair spinning around reaches Naruto's ears. He then feels the piercing glare of annoyed eyes drilling into his skull. Naruto simply scrunches up more tightly into the pathetic ball he's made on his friend's cubicle floor.

About twenty minutes ago, Naruto had flopped, yes flopped, complete with flailing limbs and pouty grumbles, on the floor of his friend's cubicle, after leaving the courtroom bathroom, with all of its unwanted revelations, and returning to the office. On his walk over, the scene from the bathroom had replayed in his head over and over, multiplying his humiliation and hurt.

Yes, Naruto understands that he had messed up pretty bad in that courtroom today and embarrassed his Unit, but he didn't deserve to be choked because of it. And yeah, even though he told the guy he was 'like a monster,' he really shouldn't have freaked out like that. Seriously, what was his problem? Maybe the term 'Psycho' was more accurate then he initially thought. Also, Naruto has no idea what to do about his _spiraling-down-to-the-Earth-and-about-to-crash-into-a-firey-ball-of-flames_ career now. If he is kicked off the case, it would look pretty terrible to the higher-ups. So, somehow he has to figure out a way to stay on the case and make peace with Sabaku. Although, that seems pretty impossible right now, especially with all the hidden feelin-_rah_, and Naruto has no idea how he can pull that off. Yeah, the choking and the career problems are bad, but one question replays in his mind more often than all the others.

How did that guy _not_ want to kiss him?

Seriously, what the hell was wrong with him?! Naruto is totally kissable! Naruto is young, cute, tan, and fit, with sparkling blue eyes and a mega-watt smile. And to top it all off, Naruto's a blonde! A blonde for Christ's sake! And a natural one at that. Honestly, it seems like a no-brainer. That guy must be stupid.

And to add insult to injury, The Psycho even seemed grossed out by the idea! Well, maybe not grossed out, but at least surprised by it. Like the idea of kissing Naruto hadn't entered his stupid head, and he couldn't understand how Naruto would ever think that. The man's reaction had gone against everything Shika said a week ago. And Shika's a genius. The man's always right! So, how could he have been so wrong about this one thing? This super-embarrassing, self-esteem-destroying thing.

And unfortunately, as mortifying as it is to admit it, Naruto has thought a lot about kissing Sabaku in the past week. After his friends' teasing, Naruto couldn't help but wonder if Sabaku's lips are as supple as they look. How would they feel gliding across his own lips? How would they taste as he nibbles on them? Would Sabaku's tongue meet his own, when he gently swipes his own tongue across the other man's lips?

Yeah. Looking back, it seems pretty ridiculous that Naruto didn't notice sooner that he has a mini-crush on Sabaku. But, what can you do, right? Although, it must be purely physical. Because honestly, the man's personality sucks. Sabaku has the emotional competence of an angry badger, and there is no way Naruto could be attracted to an angry badger.

No way.

So, now the main questions, for which Naruto has come for guidance, are: how does he fix his career, how does he snuff out his physical attraction to his angry badger of a boss, and should he get lunch soon because his stomach keeps growling?

"Maybe you should just go speak with him."

"Huh?" Naruto looks up to meet the brown eyes of his closest friend. "Speak with who?" he inquires, innocently.

The brunette closes his eyes for a moment, before meeting Naruto's innocent gaze. "Naruto," the brunette responds, impatiently.

"What? I really don't know who you're talking about!" he whines.

Shikamaru sighs.

"What?" the pouty ball demands.

"Naruto, you really need to work this out."

"Work what out, Shikamaru?" Naruto asks, with very wide eyes, feigning innocence.

The brunette gestures towards the pathetic ball. "Whatever it is that has you scrunched up on my cubicle floor."

Naruto buries his head further into his arms. "Hrmm," he grunts. "You don't even know what the problem is," he mutters.

"Stop throwing a tantrum and go make up." Shikamaru nudges the ball with his toe.

Naruto lifts his head and gives Shika a pathetic pout. "I'm not throwing a tantrum." he responds, petulantly.

Shika lifts one eyebrow, clearly not convinced.

The ball explodes into a fail of limbs. "Shika, you don't understand! He tried to kill me this time!"

His friend is clearly fighting the urge to either smile or roll his eyes. "He tried to kill you?"

"Yes! He choked me and I almost died!" Naruto makes the appropriate hand gestures and facial expressions to accompany his exclamation.

Unfortunately, his friend's eyes turn skeptical, as he crosses his arms and leans further back in his chair. "Really? And how did this happen?"

Well, skeptical or not, at least he was listening. Naruto is relived and excited to be able to tell his story… finally, as he sits back on his heels with his hands resting on his knees. Twenty minutes is long time to pout to get attention. A really long time! And he was hungry! "Well, you know I went to the jury selection today, right?"

"Yes." Shikamaru already looks worried.

"Well, I kind of shouted… hrm, maybe that's the wrong word… I sort of exclaimed… eh, that doesn't sound much better… I made a loud statement in the middle of proceedings…" Naruto seeks a glance with innocent blue eyes at his friend.

Shikamaru smirks. "Of course, you did. What exactly did you say?"

"Well, it was sort of supposed to be in my head…"

"Of course…" Shikamaru nods, like this is normal.

"I sorta said, 'Shut up,' and it sorta sounded like I was saying it to…" Naruto pauses and then whispers, "the judge."

"Do you like your job, Naruto?"

Pretending he doesn't hear Shikamaru's sarcastic question, Naruto continues. "Anyway, Sabaku was mad, I guess, and dragged my into the bathroom, locked the door, and pushed me against the wall."

"Kinky."

"Gah!" Naruto's eyes bulge, as his face flushes. "So, not helpful, Shikamaru!" Naruto clears his throat. "As I was saying," A dramatic pause and a deep breath, and then Naruto says the next statement so quickly, it is almost unintelligible. Almost. _"I-sorta-thought-he-was-going-to-kiss-me-but-he-didn't-and-it-got-super-awkward-and-then-we-got-in-a-fight-and-I-said-he-was-like-a-monster-and-then-he-attacked-me-and-tried-to-kill-me!"_ Naruto takes a small breath and says slower. "Then, he told me I was 'off the case,' and I should ask for Sarutobi's permission to be excused. What should I do, Shikamaru?" he whines, sending his friend another wide-eyed look.

"I know I've asked you this before, but how do you get yourself into these situations?" the brunette questions calmly.

"I don't mean to. They just happen to me." Naruto pouts.

Shikamaru sighs. "Anything else? I really need to get back to work."

"Gah!" he huffs, surprised. The younger male's expression then turns insulted. "Rrr," he growls. "Shouldn't you be more upset about this? Your greatest friend ever was almost asphyxiated by your crazy badger boss in a grungy bathroom!"

"Ehh, Chōji better."

"Wait, what?!" he blonde shouts indignantly.

"Chōji's my 'greatest friend ever.' You're more of the unpredictable side character," the brunette teases.

"Shika-ma-ru!" Naruto whines, with sad eyes. "How can you say that?! I'm way more fun than _Chōji_!"

"But you're 'way more' troublesome and require 'way more' effort."

Naruto pouts. Pathetically. "I don't require effort."

"Yes, you do."

Naruto pouts. Even more pathetically.

If that's possible.

"But," Shikamaru sighs, tilting his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "I guess, it is part of your charm."

Naruto looks up hopefully, blue eyes sparkling. "It is?"

Shika smiles in spite of himself and looks to the side. "Yeah." The pony-tailed man repositions himself in his leather backed chair, licking his lips, and re-crossing his arms. "And as for Sabaku choking you, I can't say I haven't thought of doing that to you myself. I just haven't actually done it, yet." His eyes flick back to the blonde, amused.

"Hey!" Naruto exclaims, resentfully.

Shikamaru smirks.

Naruto pouts. The most pathetically ever. Even more pathetic than the small kitten on that stupid motivational poster.

"This is big deal, Shika. I got attacked by my boss," he whines.

The brunette sighs, and seems to give in. "Exactly how bad did he strangle you?

"Bad!" the pathetic one immediately shouts.

Shikamaru shakes his head in exasperation. "You know what I mean. Did you fall unconscious during the strangulation?"

"What?! No!" Naruto sounds confused and rather offended by the question.

"Oh. Well, let me see the bruises, then."

"Bruises?" The blonde's face turns rather puzzled.

Shikamaru's face is very serious as he responds. "Yes. Strangulation victims generally have bruises from the assailant due to the force of the handgrip. Let me see your bruises, so I can assess the degree of strangulation."

Naruto seems to catch on, as his eyes widen rather comically. He purses his lips and looks to the side. "M Mrrm rrm mrmrr Mrrrmes."

Shikamaru hides a smile behind his hand. "I didn't quiet catch that, Naruto."

Naruto turns his head back, glaring. "I don't have any bruises!"

"I see. Well, did he cut off your airway?"

Naruto sink further down into the cubicle wall. "No," he mumbles reluctantly.

"Did it hurt at least?" Shikamaru tries to keep the humor out of his voice. It doesn't really work.

"Well, my head hurt! It slammed against the tiled wall." Naruto retorts.

"Did the strangulation hurt?" the brunette repeats.

Naruto glares at Shikamaru defiantly for a moment before responding. "No."

"So, he didn't actually choke you?"

"He had his hand on my throat! Isn't that enough?!"

"Naruto," Shikamaru says, rather patiently.

"Fine! He didn't _actually_ choke me, but I thought he was going to! That should be enough! Where is the anger on my behalf, Shikamaru?" Naruto looks to the side and mumbles. "I thought we were friends."

"We are friends. You're like my second 'greatest friend ever.' But I can't help feeling that you instigated it."

Naruto's head whips back to face his friend. "How can you be my friend and say that?!"

Shikamaru gives the blonde a pointed look. Then, his brown eyes become distant, as his expression turns contemplative. "You called him a 'monster' right?"

"I said, he was 'like a monster'," Naruto immediately corrects. For some reason, the distinction feels important.

His brown eyes focus back his blue-eyed friend. "Either way, that's pretty harsh, Naruto."

"Just because I said something like that doesn't mean I should be attacked! They're just words!"

"You of all people should know, that sometimes words hurt more than fists," he friend replies, sagaciously.

Naruto looks to the away from his friend's piercing eyes. Shikamaru had a point. "Well, I was angry," he says in an attempt to defend his actions.

"Because he didn't kiss you."

He sputters. "What?! No!" His tan face aflame. _God…How does he do that? Say just the right thing? _Naruto quickly looks to the side, hoping his friend hasn't seen through him… yet.

Shikamaru smirks as his takes in his friend's affronted continence and reddening face. The brunette's face slowly returns to its previously serious expression. "So, you said he was 'like a monster' and then he lunged at you."

Once he feels prepared for the questioning again, he meets his friend astute gaze again. "Right."

"Instantly, or did it take a while?"

"Instantly!" Naruto responds, excitedly, glad to be heard so seriously. "Like I didn't have time to think and I was flying!" He uses hand motions to emphasize his words. "Then suddenly, I slammed against the wall and his hand was on my neck!" Naruto's hand goes to his throat.

"Hmm…" Shikamaru looks thoughtful, as his eyes become distant. "Do you think it was some kind of trigger?"

"Trigger?" Naruto asks, puzzled, hands falling back to his lap.

"Like something in his past triggered an extreme response."

"Hmm, I don't know. The guy seems to have some issues. He did mention that his family sucks, it could have something to do with that."

Shikamaru nods. "That's a possibility."

"So," Naruto bites on his lower lip, and looks down to the floor. "Do you think I should report it?" he asks in a soft voice, as he looks back up at his brunette friend.

"That's up to you."

"Hmm," Naruto pauses, chewing on his lower lip. "I don't really want to get him in trouble. I mean, I did sort of provoke him. And… it didn't really hurt. I mean I have a headache and the back of my head's sore, but it's not worth destroying the guy's career over, ya know? No harm done really." Naruto shugs.

Shikamaru snickers. "I knew you would feel that way."

"What? How?"

Shikamaru gives Naruto a pointed look.

Naruto returns with an exasperated one of his own. "Just tell me what you're thinking, already!"

Shikamaru purses his lips, hesitating.

"Spit it out!"

Shikamaru studies Naruto's exasperated face for a moment. "If Yamato had shoved you against the wall of a bathroom and put his hand on your throat, would you let it slide?"

"What?! Of course not!"

Shikamaru gives him that pointed look again.

Naruto feels his eyebrow twitch. "It's not the same, Shika," he responds, annoyed.

"Exactly, Naruto." Again, that look.

Naruto stares into Shika's penetrating gaze before looking away. He suddenly feels naked. He chews on the inside of his cheek and begins picking at stray treads on the carpeted floor. Naruto's mind travel back to his earlier thoughts of his mini-crush on Sabaku. His blue eyes shift up to Shikamaru's expectant face, and he wonders if he should confide in him.

_How do I snuff out my physical attraction to our angry badger of a boss?_

Honestly, Shika really wasn't the type to judge. However, throughout their entire friendship, Shika had only known Naruto to be 'straight,' and Naruto had never felt the need to correct that assumption. He had only shared that very private part of his sexuality with one other person in his life, and it hadn't ended well. Since then, he had played the straight guy through and through. No point in experiencing all of the turmoil that comes with homosexuality, when women are just as attractive.

Also, he hadn't felt this interested in another man, since…

Well, it doesn't matter. Sabaku was his angry badger boss and obviously hated Naruto. No point in going there. Plus, he wasn't even sure if the man was gay.

_No. Scratch that. He wears eyeliner. Lots and lots of eyeliner…_

_Gah! Whatever! It doesn't matter if he's gay or not! The man is off limits and obviously not interested! I'm going to carry this secret to the grave!_

"It's not much of a secret, Naruto. Just confess to Sabaku and get it over with."

Naruto's heart skips a beat. "Wait," he panics. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me." Shikamaru turns his rolly chair back around and begins clicking away on his keyboard.

Naruto is frozen. His mouth hanging open and his face bright red. After a full five minutes, Shika finally peeks over his shoulder at his immobile friend.

Noticing this, Naruto becomes mobile again. "Shika." Naruto says reverently. "You can read minds?"

Shikamaru snorts. "Hardly. You're just so easy to read." Shikamaru turns around and continues typing. "If you like the guy, it's not a big deal. Just go tell him how you feel."

Naruto chews on his bottom lip, suddenly feeling very off-balance. "You don't care that I…"he trails.

"Like guys?" Shikamaru finishes.

"Mmm," Naruto affirms.

"I thought you knew that I knew."

Naruto sputters. "Wait, what?"

Shikamaru stops typing and turns around. "Naruto, I know you never talk about it, probably because you're afraid of judgment. But you get incredibly flirty when you're drunk. It wasn't all that hard to figure out."

Naruto's face returns to an interesting shade of pink. "Oh."

"We've all just been waiting for you to come out to us."

Naruto's stomach drops, when he catches on to the gravity of that statement. "We?"

"All of your closest friends. We're actually pretty surprised you haven't said anything, yet."

"When you say 'we,' you mean…" The blonde hesitates. "You, Chōji, Lee, and…"Naruto leaves an unspoken question.

"Yes, even Kiba," the brunette answers.

Naruto returns to his ball and rests his head on his knees, a deeper blush climbing up his neck. "Oh… Since when?"

"He said, he's known since high school. Said you dated someone, but tried to keep it a secret. Obviously, not very well. Sneakiness has never been your strong point."

"Wait! He knew about… about that?" His stomach does summersaults.

"Said he walked in on the two of you once…. In the locker room showers, I believe? We didn't ask him to elaborate. He sounded a little traumatized."

"Oh, God." Naruto's blush deepens to a rather fetching shade of burgundy.

"With a guy named Sa-"

"That's okay!" Naruto interrupts, a little panicky, reaching up to wave his hands in front of the brunette's face. "I believe you! You don't need to say his name."

Shikamaru face suddenly turns shrewd. "So, I'm guessing, that guy is the reason you've kept this part of yourself hidden for so long."

Naruto's sapphire eyes darken, and his face turns guarded. "You could say that." He looks to the side and his eyes are unfocused, seemingly lost in old memories.

His brown-eyed friend looks like he wants to say something more, to comfort the blonde somehow. His hand lifts, but he slowly allows it to drop back on his armrest.

"Wait a moment…" Naruto's expression turns suspicious, as his blue eyes lift to meet Shikamaru's once more. "So, last week when Kiba teased me about liking guys and hiding something…"

"Ha ha…" Shikamaru chuckles, glad to see Naruto recover so quickly. "Finally caught on to that, have you?" he teases. "Kiba's been dropping hints like that for years now."

"What?! Years?!" Naruto's eyes become comically wide.

Shikamaru chuckles. "Yes, years. Most of them have been pretty subtle, so I'm not surprised you didn't notice before now. He's been hoping you will respond with something like 'Yeah, I like guys, too. Deal with it!' and we can all move past it. I've been telling him to knock it off and to not pressure you, but instead he seems to be getting bolder. Honestly, I really don't blame him. Sometimes, it feels like the elephant in the room." Shikamaru smirks. "Especially, when you tried to convince Kiba to go home with you at last year's New Year's party."

"I did what?" he demands. Naruto heats up. Yet, again.

"Yeah, I'm not surprised you don't remember. Don't worry, he took it as a compliment, considering you've never tried that with the rest of us. I'm actually a little hurt."

Naruto ducks his head behind his arms as his flush deepens. "Someone kill me."

"Look, Naruto, as I've said, we already know about your preferences and we like you no matter who you like. We all just want you to be happy."

Naruto hides for a few more moments before peeking his head out. "Really?"

"Really." Shikamaru shoots him a small smile, before turning back around to finish typing. "Now get out of here. I have a report to finish by four-thirty and you're distracting me."

"Okay Okay." Naruto pushes off the cubicle wall and stands up. "I'm honestly surprised you're even working."

"Well, this _was_ due last week. I managed to talk my way into an extension," he responds, smugly.

"Figures." Naruto snorts. He glances at Shikamaru's back for a moment, and warm, bubbly feelings surface. The blonde suddenly throws his arms around the brunette's shoulders and gives him a hug from behind. "Thanks, Shika!"

Shika tries his best to shrug off the blonde nuisance. "So troublesome. Just get out of here."

Chuckling, Naruto releases the brunette and spins to leave. "Wait!" Naruto twirls back around on his heels. "That was heartwarming and all, but it really didn't answer any of my questions."

Shikamaru sighs as he pauses typing. "You really are troublesome."

* * *

><p><strong>And there we go! Chapter 5! Next time, we'll see what Naruto does with Shika's advice!<strong>

**Please leave a review below. Thanks!**


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